7/18/2017- “F**k Atlanta’s Kidz!”

Hey Mikey,

I think I am completely fed up with life in Atlanta! It seems like the moment since I have settled in here I have had nothing but drama and problems with the people that live here. Black Gay Men, especially, are the worst! First, they’re very cliquish, then they’re backstabbing, and above all else they are petty. As a Black Gay Man myself it is disheartening because I was really hoping to come here and make some strong, cool friendships, maybe find a partner, and enjoy the opportunities I heard this city had to offer people who look and love like me. Before I head back to Nebraska with my tail between my legs, do you have any advice on how I can turn things around?

-Fuck Atlanta’s Kidz!

***When I hear you say “kidz” I immediately flashbacked to Beyonce’s Get Me Bodied music video!  Now to the matter at hand. Atlanta is a city just like any other with its opportunities and setbacks, and good and bad citizens. It is harmful (and I often have to remind myself of this) and unhealthy to generalize the entire populace of Black Gay Men here based on the few you have interacted with. I would say go back to the drawing board and make realistic goals for what you want from your time here, and go after them. Additionally, there are social and support groups here to assist you with mingling as well.  In the meantime, purge yourself of anyone and anything causing drama, stress, and negativity in your life. Also, consider taking a vacation from Atlanta. Often times a little time away from a place can allow you to recharge, refresh, and regroup. Hope this helps!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for  trusting and checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Written By: Michael “Hey Mikey” Fanning

 

7/2/2017- “If SHE Be Worthy!”

Hey Mikey,

Let me start off by saying I absolutely love your site and your advice column. You really keep it real with your readers! So here’s my situation. My soon to be ex-wife who likes to cause arguments in front of our daughter tried to sabotage a daddy-daughter day. I was suppose to take her to a princess party where the host asked that the girls come dressed as their favorite Disney Princess. My daughter is more into superheroes, but we agreed she would go as Moana. When her mother drops her off she is dressed as Thor from The Avengers–with the hammer and all!

My ex begins to say that she should be allowed wear this costume because she did not like Moana’s princess dress and because Disney now owns Marvel Studios and the current Thor is female and since he was the Prince of Asgard that now makes her a princess.  We immediately got into it and I made my daughter change and sent her back home with her mother. I explained to my ex she was supporting insubordination and I didn’t want my daughter being a spectacle at the party. Girls can be mean really mean. Now, my daughter won’t talk to me or return my calls and when she comes over she just stays in her room. This is going on three weeks now and it hurts. Mikey, please help. What should I do?

-It’s Her Fault

6/6/2017- “A Real Greenleaf Sitch”

Hey Mikey,

My family is in some serious turmoil right now. My brother definitely does not want to be a pastor and neither do I. There is just one problem, we come from a long line of  pastors and bishops, five generations to be exact. Neither of us have told my parents about our decision even though they have spent all this money over the years for degrees in theology and seminary school. How do we break the news to them? I just know this is going to break their hearts…

-Don’t Mean To Disappoint

Merle Dandridge as “Grace Greenleaf”

***Don’t Mean To Disappoint, this sounds very Grace and Jacob Greenleaf. (I hope your mother isn’t Lady Mae!) Sorry man it is too late for that. Naturally, your parents are going to be disappointed. That is quite a tradition to break, but traditions are broken everyday. Also, being a pastor is not a tradition, from my understanding and teaching it is a higher calling and not just something you do because you are next in line in the family to do it. Sorry, but we are not talking royalty here, but even then they too get to choose whether they wish to ascend to or abdicate the throne. You and your brother are grown men. Go to your parents and express how you feel while simultaneously apologizing for the thousands of dollars they spent on an education you might not use. It’s time to be brave !

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for  trusting and checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Written By: Michael “Hey Mikey” Fanning

 

5/30/2017-“The Common Denominator”

Hey Mikey,

I am really trying to be a good friend, but my friend and her dating drama is beginning to become a rain cloud over our friendship. I get it that she isn’t good at dating–neither am I really–but I get tired of hearing about how every single guy she tries to get at or get to know dogs her. I’m beginning to think it isn’t them, maybe it’s her because she is involved in each of these scenarios. She’s the common denominator. I wanna tell her she should change her perspective and outlook when it comes to guys and maybe she wouldn’t attract low lives, but I think it’ll just fall on deaf ears. What do you think? What should I do? Sigh…

-Fed Up Friend

***Fed Up Friend, the timeliness of your query is uncanny! Everyone has something that is hard for them and as you aforementioned dating is what is hard for your friend. My advice is to continue to allow her to lean on and vent to you, but at the same time let her know you do not want the negativity of her love life to affect your friendship, as it is something completely separate. Lastly, saying your friend is the “common denominator” is slick disrespectful, and most of all may be totally inaccurate. Although she is in all of these scenarios it does not mean she is the cause of these issues as any number of factors can cause a relationship or the pursuit thereof to fall apart. Compassion and patience are the medications needed here. Apply them amicably!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for  trusting and checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Written By: Michael “Hey Mikey” Fanning

5/9/2017- “White Mama, Black Baby”

Hey Mikey,

I am really ready to be a mother, albeit a single one, I am 39 and I’m done waiting for love. I recently signed with an adoption agency and told them I’d be interested in adopting a Black child as well. My parents, although not racist,  are vehemently against it. They keep telling me as a Caucasian woman I am not fitted to raise a Black child alone, especially with the country’s current racial climate. I definitely beg to differ and want to prove to them I can. What are your thoughts? Can a single White female raise a child of color alone to be a successful member of society?

-Mommy To Be

***Mommy To Be, I commend you for deciding to take your life and circumstances into your own hands and for choosing to adopt. There are a lot of children in the foster care system that need good parents. Yes, I believe a Caucasian woman can raise a child of color alone to be a successful member of society. However, I understand where your parents’ fears are coming from. These are trying times. I would advise you to learn as much as you can about Black culture and ensure somehow your child remains connected to his/her roots–music, hair care, genealogy, etc. Their racial identity may not be the most important aspect of their life, but it will definitely influence it. There are a lot of books on transracial adoptions and if you check your e-mail I’ve already sent you a few titles. Lastly, adopt a Black child because they need a good home and you love them, never to prove others wrong. That will set you on a path to disaster. Good luck future mommy!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Written By: Michael “Hey Mikey” Fanning

5/2/2017- “The Perfect Distraction”

 Hey Mikey,

I just got a promotion at my job. It means a hefty increase in my salary, but lots of international traveling and responsibility. My girlfriend was really happy for me until we find out we were expecting–which was two weeks ago. Now, she wants to me to consider a position that’s also open, will keep me closer to home, but won’t pay as much as the other job. She has a fear of being a single mother, but I keep telling her that will never be the case. She doesn’t know it but I’m proposing to her next week. I was already going to before we found out about the baby, but that news just makes the decision all the more right to me. What should I do about this job though. Children are a blessing, but I really want this money and to advance in my career. I just feel that right now this kid will be a distraction to. What should I do?

-Eager Steve

4/18/2017- “Gay Famous”

Hey Mikey,

I’ve followed your site for some time now and I really like how you keep up with all of the gay web series. I am actually on one of them, although you have yet to interview me. Anyhow, I’m having an issue with getting more acting jobs in this city. Despite the number of followers I have and the web series I have been on people continue to act like they don’t know who I am. It really is mind-boggling to me especially when I can walk into practically any bar or club in Atlanta and dozens of niggas know who I am. I feel as though I’m being blackballed. I’m really trying to do this acting thing, and I feel like these casting people need to see my worth. What do you think?

-King Star

***About Tre, honestly I think you are coming off as spoiled and entitled–a recurring theme among many web stars. You my boy are what I  have coined as “Gay Famous.” This pretty much means you may be famous with in the gay community, the Black Gay one at that, and that is the extent of your popularity and reach. For you to begin achieving the fame I know you ultimately desire you are going to have to do some real work. That means getting head shots, taking some acting classes, networking, accepting minor roles to get your foot in the door for bigger roles, and most of all put your ego to the side. The sky is the limit when you’re young, attractive, and bangin’ it seems, but gravity all that much stronger. The Clipse said it best, “don’t let’cha ego trick yo ass!”

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Written By: Michael “Hey Mikey” Fanning

[VIDEO] 4/4/2017-“Suddenly Swarming”

Hey Mikey,

It really feels like life’s problems are beginning to overwhelm. I consider myself a pretty good multi-tasker and am trying to prioritize everything I have to do but the more I do the more goes wrong. My best friend has been trying to help me but I just can’t let him be there for me right now. I’m so annoyed by things like my brother being incarcerated, my personal finances, and most of all the lack of love in my life; that I don’t really wanna drag him into shit. I know all of the stuff that’s bothering is mostly petty but I can’t just seem to get out of this rut of continuously bad stuff happening….I’m falling apart…Please help…

-Chaotic in Louisville

***Chaotic in Louisville, one of the hardest things about being human is enduring the trials of life and unfortunately sometimes they come at us hard, quickly, and back to back. Whenever I have been faced with overwhelming problems I have been forced to recenter myself. Look at every issue to determine what I can and cannot do about it, accept my role in it, and then prioritize what issues can be fixed first. Your friend seems to want help you, I think you should allow him. Your life is suddenly swarming little things that seem to matter so much that they confuse you, and you feel like you’re losing yourself. Don’t worry, this is not how you fall apart. Regroup, recenter, recover, recharge, and move forward! I assure you it’s going to be okay.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Written By: Michael “Hey Mikey” Fanning

 

3/28/2017- “In Blackest Night”

Hey Mikey,

I pride myself on being a pretty positive person and keeping optimistic, positive people around me at all times. Up until recently my best friend was one them. However, a few things have happened--break up, job loss, and health scare–that have turned him into this really dark, pessimistic person. He does not want to do any of the stuff we enjoyed before. It’s like he “can’t see the forest for the trees.” Being around him now is draining and I feel like his energy is tainting my own. I wanna keep being friends, but I do not know if I can or should if he does not snap out of this funk. Things happen in life. but I’ve found you can’t let them get to you and you just gotta keep it pushing. What should I do?

-The Ultimate Optimist

***The Ultimate Optimist, your friend may be enduring his “Blackest Night” at the moment and your optimism and positivity may be a key factor as to why he is still trucking. Life happens in the best and worst ways; and sometimes depression is a result of that. Even optimists have their storms to endure. I advise you not to cut your friend off, but to point him to resources that can assist him. Remember he was optimistic and positive once, and he can be that way again. Be a hero, not a fair weather friend. 

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

[VIDEO] 12/26/2016- “Take A Moment”

Hey Mikey,

My girl broke up with me on Christmas. She says my temper is too much for her. I have never put my hand on her or any woman and I never would. I just like things a certain way. I was going to propose to her on Christmas Eve. I had the restaurant, music, ring, and was ready for everything. I even spoke the manager of the restaurant telling him how everything had to go right. He assured me it would.

First, they could not find our reservations when we got there, then they got her order messed up. When I confronted the waiter about it my girl got mad with me and told me to calm down. Since I’m paying for all this shit I figure she should have what she wanted and demanded to speak to the manager. By then my girl was ready to go. I got pissed and knocked my plate off the table. I apologized but she stormed out and then came over this morning with my stuff. I told her she was being spineless and overreacting. She told me we were threw. I’ve been going over this in my head all day. I don’t wanna break up. How do I win her back? She won’t speak to me.

-How Did This Happen?